I read this article from ScaryMommy the other day, and it really made me feel better about life. If you're sensitive to sailor speak, be warned. If not, please, read it, and then read it again.
As I have said before, this whole motherhood thing has really been an eye-opener for me. Basically every notion or idea or feeling I had about how things might go were totally wrong. But here I am, three years later and just five months away from doing it all over again, and I have never been more proud of myself.
It was a struggle, those first couple years, trying to listen to everyone and do what everyone wanted, because clearly I was new at this, so they must know more than me, right?! WRONG! I've finally come to realize, and I want you to, too, that I am the best mother for my child(ren). Some mothers are crunchy and organic, some mothers live on fast food. I'm in the middle. My child lives, he is healthy, he is growing, and he is happy. He gets really dirty, he drinks grape pop, and he eats pepperoni. He is three years old and starting to spell and read! JI is absolutely amazing, and for once I am admitting to others that I did that. Sure, his therapists and teachers helped, but it was all me and Poke. We're the best parents for JI and we have done an awesome job so far!
Right now, times are weird. I've never been more exhausted in my life, yet somehow I am finding the energy to do these fairly strenuous things, like rearrange the whole house to make room for the baby in the 3rd bedroom, repaint and decorate that room, and paint stripes on JI's wall so he can have a big boy room (to last til age 18, at least!). As I type this, I am sitting on his bed waiting for the paint to dry so I can do some touch ups. My parents took him overnight as a surprise and Poke is at work, so I am all alone. It's awesome and lame at the same time... I just miss my boys, even though I am thankful to have the much needed peace and quiet.
The thing about parenthood is that it is all what you make it. You can sit there and read the blogs and compare yourself until you hate your own guts, or you can skip that and go straight to the good stuff. Yes, there will be days when you second guess things, when you lose your sh!t and flip out at the world, but there will also be days when everything goes just right and everyone is cooperating and the world is beautiful. The thing about parenthood is that you're humans raising more humans, and that's just the way it will be.